Confessions

I have been coveting a barbecue grill for about three years now. Two years ago, I bought a spiffy little number from Target for about $100 called “The Aussie”, which could handle about two and a half hamburgers. The Aussie quickly rusted into a pile of twisted metal and meat drippings.

Last week, as I celebrated the beginning of my 30th year on this planet, Heather and Brady, my kids, mom and dad, brother and sister-in-law surprised me with a brand spanking new grill. 48,000 BTUs of meat searing, arm hair singeing heat… oh, yeah. It’s beautiful.

Here’s a quick rundown of our next three meals:

Day 1: After hearing that it’s best to sear steaks at high heat, I burned a pack of ribeyes. I dried out some chicken breasts, too.

Day 2: My “Mastering the Grill” cookbook explained that soaking chicken breasts in a brine (a cup of salt and two cups water) would keep them from drying out. While they were very moist, they caused a cat-like gagging reflex and a huge spike in blood pressure.

Day 3: We made a meal of leftover charred steaks and salty chicken.